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Harry Potter and the Times He Was Brilliantly Sarcastic

nevillethebamf:

“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!”

“Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night,” said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. “What do you think that means?”
“Probably that you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something,” said Harry.

“Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?” said Harry sarcastically. 

“Cool name,” said Harry, grinning, “but you’ll always be Ickle Diddykins to me.”

“Listening to the news! Again?”
“Well, it changes every day, you see,” said Harry. 

“You know your mother, Malfoy? The expression on her face - like she’s got dung under her nose? Is she like that all the time or just because you were with her?” 

“And they’d [the Death Eaters] love to have me,” said Harry sarcastically. “We’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.” 

“This is night, Diddykins. That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.” 

“Brilliant! It’s Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won’t have the time to poison us all!” 

“Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours [broom], Malfoy. Then it could catch the Snitch for you.” 

“I don’t know who Maxime thinks she’s kidding. If Hagrid’s half-giant, she definitely is. Big bones… the only thing that’s got bigger bones than her is a dinosaur.” 

whatbethsays:

yes but consider this for your otp:

  • being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU
  • rescuing their partner from a recon mission gone wrong AU
  • drama school rivals being cast as romantic opposites because they have “crazy sexual tension” according to their director AU
  • "are we both robbing the same house oh fuck" AU
  • growing up together in a rough neighbourhood AU
  • mutual friends always dragged to the same inane barbecues AU

kndall:

when ur trying to cheer your friends up bc they’re sadimage

karkats-face-on-things:

Karkat’s face on the Polish flag (anon request)

karkats-face-on-things:

Karkat’s face on the Polish flag (anon request)

nataliemeansnice:

hotsytotsy:

someoneinjersey:

bookoisseur:

sosuperawesome:

Jewellery by BeautySpot in Kiev, Ukraine.

Gorgeous space jewelry.

I HAVE A PAIR OF THEIR NEBULA EARRINGS THEY’RE AWESOME

Must have. Must.

all. want.

seanmonster:

smaug-official:

wicked-mint-leaves:

naoren:

filmeditor16:

official-sokka:

thats-not-a-toilet:

korrastyle:

OH SHIT

is this why the show was taken off nick?

So this is what air benders can do. Sucking the air out of people’s lungs. Just as cool as lightening bending if you ask me

No I don’t think you guys understand this is frightening

Airbenders are pretty much the most powerful benders. A firebender has to create fire. A waterbender is most powerful on the open seas as much as an earthbender is on land. But air is literally everywhere.
The Air Nomads weren’t dangerous because they chose not to be.

you’vE GONE TOO DEEP

Hey, HOLD UP.
While I agree that Airbenders do have a lot of power at their exposure, they aren’t the only ones.
Waterbenders can bend any type of fluid containing water, even blood inside the human body! That’s pretty fucking metal.

They can also take the water vapor out of the air, use their own sweat or even drain the water out of every living thing nearby. 

Imagine that ^^ happening to a person..
Next we have fire, the element of destruction. Like Airbenders, they can use the air around them, and transfer it into energy. Firebenders can bend or generate anything fire/ heat related.  That means lightning, flames, or extreme heat that has the potential to shape its environment (such as melt molten rock and metal.) Even fire breath!



Next we have Earth. Earthbenders can bend anything related or comprised of Earth, such as metal, rock, dirt, sand, etc. EVEN LAVA. Anything mineral related? You got it. Admittedly, minerals- although extremely easy to come by, are not as present as water or air. But there sure is enough to make use of, and we can’t say Earthbenders aren’t powerful!

This guy just stopped a volcano. 

Not only are they powerful, but they are also graceful. 

And I mean look at this! Avatar Kyoshi Earthbends a freaking continent in HALF!

In conclusion, fear all benders. 

seanmonster:

smaug-official:

wicked-mint-leaves:

naoren:

filmeditor16:

official-sokka:

thats-not-a-toilet:

korrastyle:

OH SHIT

is this why the show was taken off nick?

So this is what air benders can do. Sucking the air out of people’s lungs. Just as cool as lightening bending if you ask me

No I don’t think you guys understand this is frightening

Airbenders are pretty much the most powerful benders. A firebender has to create fire. A waterbender is most powerful on the open seas as much as an earthbender is on land. But air is literally everywhere.

The Air Nomads weren’t dangerous because they chose not to be.

you’vE GONE TOO DEEP

Hey, HOLD UP.

While I agree that Airbenders do have a lot of power at their exposure, they aren’t the only ones.

Waterbenders can bend any type of fluid containing water, even blood inside the human body! That’s pretty fucking metal.

image

They can also take the water vapor out of the air, use their own sweat or even drain the water out of every living thing nearby. 

image

Imagine that ^^ happening to a person..

Next we have fire, the element of destruction. Like Airbenders, they can use the air around them, and transfer it into energy. Firebenders can bend or generate anything fire/ heat related.  That means lightning, flames, or extreme heat that has the potential to shape its environment (such as melt molten rock and metal.) Even fire breath!

image

image

image

Next we have Earth. Earthbenders can bend anything related or comprised of Earth, such as metal, rock, dirt, sand, etc. EVEN LAVA. Anything mineral related? You got it. Admittedly, minerals- although extremely easy to come by, are not as present as water or air. But there sure is enough to make use of, and we can’t say Earthbenders aren’t powerful!

image

This guy just stopped a volcano. 

image

Not only are they powerful, but they are also graceful. 

image

And I mean look at this! Avatar Kyoshi Earthbends a freaking continent in HALF!

image

In conclusion, fear all benders. 

hi-coup:

cloudcuckoolander527:

yayfeminism:

One would assume that scientists, who are trained to think objectively, are completely immune to gender discrimination. However, a recent Yale study by Corinne Moss-Racusin and colleagues suggests otherwise.
The researchers created a fictional student and sent out the student’s application to science professors at top, research-intensive universities in the United States. The professors were asked to evaluate how competent this student was, how likely they would be to hire the student, how much they would pay this student, and how willing they would be to mentor the student. All of the applications sent out were identical, except for the fact that half were for a male applicant, John, and half were for a female applicant, Jennifer. Results showed that, with statistical significance, both male and female faculty at these institutions were biased towards male students over female students.
Data from the study shows that on average, science faculty was willing to pay the male applicant about $4,000 more per year. source

"The gender gap doesn’t exist" 
"We don’t need feminism" 
"Maybe he just worked harder"
"*any MRA bullshit*"

I had to read this study for class. It is thorough as fuck.

hi-coup:

cloudcuckoolander527:

yayfeminism:

One would assume that scientists, who are trained to think objectively, are completely immune to gender discrimination. However, a recent Yale study by Corinne Moss-Racusin and colleagues suggests otherwise.

The researchers created a fictional student and sent out the student’s application to science professors at top, research-intensive universities in the United States. The professors were asked to evaluate how competent this student was, how likely they would be to hire the student, how much they would pay this student, and how willing they would be to mentor the student. All of the applications sent out were identical, except for the fact that half were for a male applicant, John, and half were for a female applicant, Jennifer. Results showed that, with statistical significance, both male and female faculty at these institutions were biased towards male students over female students.

Data from the study shows that on average, science faculty was willing to pay the male applicant about $4,000 more per year. 
source

"The gender gap doesn’t exist" 

"We don’t need feminism" 

"Maybe he just worked harder"

"*any MRA bullshit*"

I had to read this study for class. It is thorough as fuck.

susuyajuuzou:

he literally put the strawberry in his pocket as if it were a treasure what

theponderingponds:

conorayne:

josiephone:

alwaysactually:

lusilly:

some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”

wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”

"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"

implying that magical children would know literally nothing outside of the wizarding worldimage



image

and he was supposed to be the expert

Fall Out Boy Songs for the Signs

shitthesignssay:

  • Aries- The Phoenix
  • Taurus- Grand Theft Autumn
  • Gemini- Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying
  • Cancer- A Little Less 16 Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”
  • Leo- “The Take Over, The Breaks Over”
  • Virgo- Sugar, We’re Goin Down
  • Libra- America’s Suitehearts
  • Scorpio- Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today
  • Sagittarius- Thnks fr th Mmrs
  • Capricorn- Fame < Infamy
  • Aquarius- Dance, Dance
  • Pisces- 20 Dollar Nose Bleed

otakusapien:

superqueerpasta:

scaredpotter:

how many people would worship and glorify umbridge if she wasn’t a woman and played by a moderately good-looking man 

llttlemermaid:

OHHHH MY GODDDD I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA DO BLACK FACE BUT IT TURNED OUT SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EXPECTED

donkiplier:

cydonian-knight-in-gallifrey:

randomslasher:

areluctant-hero:

I mean I don’t wanna bother or anything.

I don’t wanna ruin the fun.

Okay this is way too sad, and I just want to make sure none of my followers ever feel that way on my blog. Please, please, know you are ALWAYS WELCOME. To chat, to say hi, to whatever. ALWAYS. 

^ This

This breaks my heart :( And it breaks my heart to know people feel this way. PLEASE BEAUTIFUL CUTIE PATOOS. IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY, TELL ME. TALK TO ME. LET ME LOVE YOU. 

sebadasstian-stan:

deadpool being dadpool

where can i read it?

ultrafacts:

lordtateos:

ultrafacts:

For more posts like this, follow Ultrafacts  (Source)

"He was also assassinated" 😂

"Emperor Elagabalus showed a disregard for Roman traditions was first to employ a prototype of whoopee cushions at dinner parties. His behavior estranged &amp; enraged the Praetorian Guard, the Senate, and the common people alike.
Don’t you just love human history?

ultrafacts:

lordtateos:

ultrafacts:

For more posts like this, follow Ultrafacts  (Source)

"He was also assassinated" 😂

"Emperor Elagabalus showed a disregard for Roman traditions was first to employ a prototype of whoopee cushions at dinner parties. His behavior estranged & enraged the Praetorian Guard, the Senate, and the common people alike.

Don’t you just love human history?